Lush For Life

“LONDON – My new neighborhood erupted into what can only be described as a bloody tribal war and it’s all my fault. After a moving into my new-shared house in East London last week, I took it upon myself to sort out the backyard. I was happily constructing some new flowerbeds, when my spade hit [...]

“MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA – After devouring the popular Internet free-porn video site YouTube for $1.65 billion, on Monday, Google officials figured, “”Hey, fuck it,”” and bought everything else in the known cosmos, including the offices of LushForLife.com. “”I don’t really know how much it’s actually going to change things, though,”” said me, Dr. Egbert Souse, [...]

“NEW YORK – News of a joining of powers between the New York Yankees Major League Baseball team and international terrorist organization al-Qaeda became apparent, Wednesday, following a plane-crash into an upper Manhattan high-rise apartment building. The plane was flown by Yankees middle relief pitcher Cory Lidle, who died in the crash that was assigned [...]

“NEW YORK – Responding to criticisms following Wednesday’s tragic accident involving the small single-engine aircraft of Yankees pitcher Cory Lidle, New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg announced sweeping new building code regulations aimed at preventing any further plane-into-building incidents in the city. Former National Transportation Safety Board director Jim Hall told the Associated Press that “he [...]

“Juan called me. There was a Democratic fundraiser and his double-D Democrette was looking for warm bodies. Would I come? “”You mean she’s looking for warm checkbooks?”” I said, but I went downtown because it sounded cheaper than a new TV set. I’m probably going to throw something at my screen the next time that [...]

“NEW YORK – We’ve blamed the state of the nation, and the world, on Bush, Rove, Clinton, Hollywood, gays, and Muslims. New evidence is emerging, however, that the Far Right were, in fact correct. It’s the media who are the problem. Newsweek has finally proved it. Last week, they were caught selling their European, Asian, [...]

“WASHINGTON, DC – As the controversy surrounding semi-useless Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice grows, many Washington insiders are betting that she will be replaced by former Hewlett-Packard chairwoman Patricia Dunn. The switch seems like a logical choice to many neo-conservatives as the two have much in common. The building anger concerns the fact that before [...]

In a monthly periodical, you, the readers of LushForLife.com, can submit questions to Danny Albertson, and he will forward a handful of them to Brett Favre in their monthly sit down Q and A. Danny Albertson: Another month or so has passed as all of you, like myself, have been tapping our feet and watching [...]

TAMPA – I was driving to a funeral for a beloved pet, Saturday morning, when I heard local talk radio host Jeff Fisher announce the sad news of Mark Foley’s shameful emails and instant messages to young, teenage boys, describing lurid sexual acts and masturbatory suggestions. I then began to weep. In 1996, I got [...]