Lush For Life

“NEW YORK – Senior Editor of fledgling satirical blog VerbingNoun.com Vance Linsel was found dead, Tuesday, of multiple, apparently self-inflicted ink pen stabs to his neck. A suicide note was left, written with the same pen, stating: “”dear mad mad world I have been doing this for too long. All day thes bastards ask me [...]

“WEST PALM BEACH, FL – One day following the accusatory comments he made about actor Michael J. Fox, right-wing broadcaster Rush Limbaugh followed by creating a charitable fund and scholarship program, and awarded Fox with the initial distinguished award in acting the program plans on giving out on an annual basis. Limbaugh originally accused Fox [...]

WASHINGTON, DC – A special Grand Jury has been convened, and will sit on Monday to hear details of the case against Uriel Smart and Ophelia Payne, arraigned on treason charges for supporting the radical new doctrine of Terracentrism. To anyone who looks at the world logically (like Bill O’Reilly), it is clear that the [...]

“WEST SUSSEX, UK – A young girl got the fright of her life, last week, when she discovered a rodent the size of a fat baby compressed within her brand new waffle iron. The young lady in question, who has a part-time job as a prostitute, had bought herself the Waffle-O-Matic brand waffle iron to [...]

“LONDON – I was walking down the main road near my house when I came across a fancy looking laptop. I picked it up and pressed the “”on”” button in the hopes of finding out who the owner of this bit of hardware might be. When the friendly looking eagle of the CIA’s home page [...]

LONDON – LushForLife.com can exclusively reveal that a new and highly effective truth serum has inadvertently been given to many British officers. Army doctors, who wished to remain anonymous, told LushForLife.com that the potent truth formula earmarked for express delivery to Guantanamo, Cuba was mistaken as a party stash of ketamine and MDMA that they [...]

“Today, I met with town renowned Chef C. Karl Cent, who taught me a fun and excellent recipe that almost anyone can do at home. It’s called the Hard Boiled Egg, and it’s becoming the latest breakfast trend in America. In this one on one interview with Chef Kent, he will explain how to master [...]

“TAMPA – Once well-known actor Wesley Snipes – who used to flaunt himself across the silver screen with a variety of kicks and karate slices in a number of second-rate super-awesome-action yarns – has found himself on the run from the IRS, indicted with eight counts of tax fraud on Wednesday morning, according to The [...]

“PYONGYANG, NORTH KOREA – The video feed is grainy, but the scene can still be deciphered: the North Korean scientists appear to be trying to check up on their recent nuclear test, and instead are getting showered with oil. In their recent underground nuclear testing, it seems that a Korean worker dug a little too [...]

The Military Commissions Act gives Mr. Bush what the U.S. Supreme Court greedily denied him: the right to do basically anything to anyone the Administration deems a terrorist, and ban Internet gambling… which makes total sense. Many Libs are screaming (though not too loudly) that this is a violation of the U.S. Constitution, completely missing [...]