Lush For Life

BAGHDAD – As the death toll of American GIs in the War on Terror increases above and beyond that of the number of US citizens taken on 9/11, a few leftist-pinko-nut-cases are suggesting that the War in Iraq might not have been such a good idea. To make matters worse, some of the Jon Stewart [...]

TAMPA – Already come and gone is week one of the NFL season. So you dear readers out there in infinite cyberspace may be asking yourself, why the hell are they doing a preview of a season that has already begun? First off, I’d like to eliminate any shadow of doubt that I was alive [...]

“WASHINGTON – The permafrost in the Arctic Circle is melting and releasing methane gasses into the atmosphere, accelerating global warming a lot faster than expected. Global warming threatens the environment and the wooly-minded comfort zones of creationists and Bush-huggers alike, but is it an immediate threat to the international economy? Yes, because the melting glaciers [...]

Dr. Audrielle Belvedere is the resident Psychoanalyst at LushForLife.com’s main headquarters in Tampa, Florida. She will be answering your questions in a semi-regular fashion, giving blunt, frank advice to the sick minds that patronize the pages of L4L.   Dear Dr. Belvedere, The last few weeks have been really tough. My girlfriend dumped me, my [...]

“TAMPA – As much as LushForLife.com has tried in the past, an expert advice column has always managed to elude us. Our initial column, Ask Emma, was cut short when Emma suffered a nervous breakdown as a result of her bouts with post-sex-op depression. She is locked safely away in a drug rehabilitation clinic in [...]

“TAMPA – In memory of the late animal freak Steve Irwin, who was stricken dead by a rogue stingray (or devil ray, if you will), baseball’s Tampa Bay Devil Rays have changed their team nickname from a menacing, sacrilegious “”devil”” ray to the kinder, gentler “”Crikey””. Much like Kansas City’s Chiefs or Florida State University’s [...]

“NEW YORK – As the heated debate over whether or not to allow stem cell research rages on in Washington, many are discovering new and interesting ways to use stem cells in applications other than research. “”The law does not prohibit the abortion of human fetuses,’ said A.J. Franks of the Culinary Institute of America. [...]

“NEW YORK – The insanely popular pop culture magazine People announced on Monday that it would no longer feature A-List celebrities, such as Lindsay Lohan, Tom Cruise, Dave Navarro, Brangelina, and the Olsen Twins getting out of bed, drunk, angry, and at their ugliest. It will now feature normal, everyday people. In the past, People [...]

“LORETO, PERU – The main cause of the continuing destruction of the world’s rainforests was discovered, Monday, by an outraged Pennsylvania State University student. PSU student Parker Ramis stumbled across his jaw-dropping discovery while engaged in the middle of solving an algebraic equation. “”I had reached my fifth sheet of paper, and still had more [...]

“I had a call from my old friend Juan on Friday. He said he had good tofu curry, decent wine, and had had some sort of political epiphany. I was skeptical, but went downtown to see what it was about. Juan may be a drug dealer, but the boy’s an idealist – with a PhD [...]