Lush For Life

“WASHINGTON – Hardcore gambling habits run rampant throughout the main blood stream of the American lifestyle. Trips to Atlantic City – where you can see gross examples of the American Imprint: a sex fiend, coke head, huffing butane from his Bic lighter while he waits for the 40-year old prostitute to return with a fresh [...]

“TAMPA – In a press conference late Tuesday evening, after they had woken up, LushForLife.com, the world famous fake news site, announced that they have officially become obscene. “”We have been informed by Google that we are now officially disgusting,”” said Duncan Idaho, founder and pompous prick of the site. “”Our revenue, which allows us [...]

“LUSHFORLIFE.COM HEADQUARTERS, TAMPA – When I began my tenure as a correspondent for LushForLife.com, I truly believed that I was working for the world’s second-least-biased news source. Having my repeated attempts to become a copywriter for Fox News thwarted by so-called lack of experience, I settled for a position here. Until the recent “”Jesus has [...]

“WASHINGTON – In the wake of the most recent air scare in the UK, the FAA has installed a strict new policy to thwart would-be evildoers, dubbed the “”No Nothing”” policy. Since terrorists have, apparently, figured out how to make anything ever a weapon (box cutters, shoes, batteries, lotions, babies, insane people, coconut rum bottles, [...]

“ST. PETERSBURG, FL – A reduction in county budget in Pinellas County, Florida, has led to the county’s decision to remove the phone line dedicated to reducing possible suicides located at the highest point on the Skyway Bridge. The decision to cancel the phone service has caused uproar amongst several self-help groups and charities throughout [...]

LushForLife.com‘s own Gale Force tracked down Donald Rumsfeld with the aid of a compass and a dead rabbit, as bait, for this exclusive interview. Gale Force: Secretary Rumsfeld. Thank you for your time. LushForLife.com is very interested to hear why you have appointed a woman, with no military experience, as head of the Joint Chiefs [...]

TAMPA – Costs for students who regularly binge drink are on the rise, a new government study suggests. The report, released by the U.S. Government Accountability Office, points to the rising costs of alcohol products – as well as popular mixers such as cola – as a key culprit in the increasing costs of higher [...]

TAMPA – LushForLife.com is pleased to introduce to you, oh opinionated public, your opinion. Since we figured (correctly) that you would be too damned lazy to sign up for our snazzy forum, we have slaved long and hard to add a comment box to each and every story. We think that this will increase your [...]

“BERKELY, CA – In a press release that could change the course of human history and destroy the belief structures of Christians everywhere, Jesus, also known as “”I Am”” revealed late Sunday that he has been diagnosed as a schizophrenic. “”I don’t know much about the whole ‘psychology thing,’ but my shrink tells me that [...]

Aries: You will rent the entire line of Hellraiser horror movies and be disappointed by all of them except the first two. Taurus: You will have a dream that you are a tall woman who is disappointed in the size of her large feet. Upon awaking, you will realize it was just a dream, unless [...]