LushForLife.com Introduces: Your Opinion

TAMPA – LushForLife.com is pleased to introduce to you, oh opinionated public, your opinion. Since we figured (correctly) that you would be too damned lazy to sign up for our snazzy forum, we have slaved long and hard to add a comment box to each and every story. We think that this will increase your interest, keep you coming back, and get you telling all of your friends to check it out because of how you totally schooled some guy on the subject of comma placement.

It will give us an insight to what you really want to read, each week. Whether or not we take it to heart is another matter, but we’ll know.

It will also give us powers internally to dole out punishments to the writers who are not up to par, and ignore the writers with the best ratings.

It will let us know what words piss off moms the most, and which words we made up are making their way into the everyday speech of our dying society that is bloated with drunkards and heathens.

Keeping us in check is now your responsibility, and we expect you to live up to it. If you don’t, I swear to God we will take it away from you.

We will totally send you to your room. And then we will begin the spankings. And the groundings. And you, young man, are definitely not allowed to borrow the car, this Friday. That hot blonde will just have to understand that you weren’t mature enough to live up to your responsibilities. Now, take out the trash.

Okay. While he’s gone, I’ll tell you, confidentially, that these comments are actually designed to find and weed out unpatriotic Americans and report them to the CIA. Hey, LushForLife.com is a major news outlet and, as a result, we are directly responsible for being a watchdog for Big Government.

So, what did you think of this story?

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