L4L Discovers The One Thing

“I’ve been rereading Marcus Buckingham’s The One Thing You Need to Know

Here’s a guy who worked for the Gallup Organization for 17 years and drills down into the statistics, deeper and deeper, until he finds the critical factor which separates the successful from the mediocre.

He can tell you the One Thing you need to know to make your relationship work with your significant other (and he’s right). He can also tell you the One Thing you need to be a great manager, or a great leader (which explains precisely what is wrong with John Kerry, what Rove gets right, and exactly what the Dems have messed up since Clinton said, “”It’s the economy, stupid!””).

But Buckingham has left a few gaps, so here are some “”One Things”” you need to know, presented by the LushForLife.com statistics technique, which is slightly different from the Gallup method.

The One Thing Women Need to Know about Men: Men need an on-going challenge. A man acts as if he wants to be the boss, yet the moment a woman turns herself inside-out to please him, he loses interest in his new doormat.

The one secret to holding a man’s lifelong interest is to love being you. You can love him deeply and reassure him that he has an amazing penis and is the only one for you, but then put your nose in the air, go out with your girlfriends, and get on with life, without changing yourself for him. He’ll spend fifty years trying to be the boss, and lying to his friends that he is. Add in a few blowjobs and he’ll be completely contented and endlessly interested in you, as long as he never quite wins.

The One Thing Men Need to Know about Themselves: They’ll do anything to get laid. Men will put up with any amount of abuse, spend ludicrous amounts of money at Victoria’s Secret, endure the humiliation of drinking non-alcoholic beer in front of their friends, and even watch chick flicks in the hope that they will get some sexual satisfaction. Once permanently hitched, they will retile the bathrooms every year, repaint the house whatever color you like, and spend the whole of November erecting bizarrely complicated Christmas lights, in exchange for 15 minutes of lack-luster sex each month.

The One Thing You Need to Know about Parenting: You chose to have the kid, so it’s your problem. Schools are there to store the kid while you are at work. It’s not the teachers’ fault if your child can only eat by scooping food from a receptacle held three inches from its mouth while watching TV. It’s not the school’s fault if you child has no manners, creativity, rational thinking skills, or relationship building skills. You can’t medicate these skills into the kid, either. Your bad.

The One Thing You Need to Know about Life: You can improve the way you do it. If you do ineffective or self-destructive things over and over again, and then whine about the consequences, you are insane. Visit LushForLife.com regularly. Read Marcus Buckingham. Kick the Republicans out of office. Get a woman who loves herself, loves you, hates repainting, and gives amazing blowjobs. Clinton did it – and he had a balance of trade surplus!

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