Lush For Life

“NEW YORK – The United Nations International Library Council met, today, down by the East River side to discuss Iran’s continued pooh-poohing of international law governing library books. Iran is said to owe $8.6 million in overdue fees from libraries across the globe and have refused to pay the fees or even return the books. [...]

Aries: You will get into a pointless argument with two friends who will take sides against you. The fight will be blown completely out of proportion and your friendships will be forever ruined. Two weeks later you will read something on Wikipedia.com that will prove you where wrong, but the damage has already been done. [...]

“WASHINGTON – Badly Photoshop‘d photographs have been appearing everywhere, lately, from the Israel/Lebanon debacle to Katie Couric’s fat chipmunk cheeks. Blame is being doled out to many, including hackers for making the usually expensive Photoshop program free for all, and to bored politicos trying to make disasters and wars seem better or worse. Even high-profile [...]

“LAS VEGAS – It appears that former polygamist and federal fugitive Warren Jeffs, who was recently apprehended by Nevada Highway Patrol just north of Las Vegas on Wednesday morning, is prepared to enter a new line of work. Jeffs was arrested after patrol officers witnessed his ‘89 Chrysler LeBaron driving down Interstate 15 with expired [...]

METROPOLIS – The average American citizen does not have superpowers, latent or otherwise, rebuffing the slew of television shows, films, and fictional accounts to the contrary. As a matter of fact, studies show that the average American citizen is just that: average.

“PRAGUE – In a shocking announcement, Thursday, the International Astronomical Union demoted the ninth planet, Pluto, to the lowly status of “”dwarf planet””. For 76 years, the small chunk of rock and ice with the wobbly orbit was part of the prestigious planetary club, but has now been knocked from it’s dizzying heights and dropped [...]

“LONDON – After so much bad news in the world of British politics, there is once again cause to celebrate. The pitter-patter of tiny feet can be heard bounding down the halls of power at Ten Downing Street. The Prime Minister’s wife, Cherie Blair, has given birth to eight puppies! The British press has been [...]

“I’ve been rereading Marcus Buckingham’s The One Thing You Need to Know… Here’s a guy who worked for the Gallup Organization for 17 years and drills down into the statistics, deeper and deeper, until he finds the critical factor which separates the successful from the mediocre. He can tell you the One Thing you need [...]

“BOULDER, CO – The alleged murderer John Mark Karr, who confessed to killing six-year old JonBenet Ramsey a decade ago in a statement last week, has recently been acquitted of all possible wrongdoing by Boulder law enforcement officials, allegedly on the grounds of being a complete liar. “”After the conclusion of a recent investigation our [...]

“LOS ANGELES – In a ground breaking doctoral thesis, UCLA PhD Student Alex Moore claims he and fellow researchers have discovered a living relative of modern humans. Dubbed Homo-Hauliris by the team of Moore, two of his professors, and three Master’s students, the “”living fossil”” may be the single most significant scientific discovery of the [...]