Lush For Life

PITTSBURGH – Because of a large allotted sum of cash which was originally intended to fund a business proposal between LushForLife.com executive Duncan Idaho and a group of right-wing, religious, militant, Norwegian arms dealers next month fell through, I was able to attend the annual display of Major League Baseball’s All-Star Game. Usually getting additional [...]

TAMPA – Local resident John Andrews stumbled upon the Internet’s most popular satirical site, TheOnion.com, during a five-minute break at work, Tuesday, and it hasn’t really changed anything about him or his daily routine. Calling our Tampa offices shortly after the discovery, Andrews shared some thoughts about his experience with me in a brief telephone [...]

TAMPA – In a press release held Monday held by the International Association Of Masculine Men, a startling announcement was made. According to members Jose’ Martinez and Martin Scott, a woman at whom they were yelling catcalls, such as, “”Hey, beautiful lady!”” and, “”Where you going, pretty momma? Show me a smile pretty pretty!”” where [...]

I thought I’d seen through all Karl Rove’s strategies, but the boy is good. He keeps outwitting me. Until recently, I was still vaguely impressed with the multi-racial look of the current administration. I saw a black, female Secretary of State succeeding another African-American, a Hispanic Attorney General, and a black First Dog. Sure, I [...]

CUPERTINO, CA – In a press release, Wednesday, CEO of Apple Computers Steve Jobs revealed his company’s plans on implementing the real voices of several adored and beloved celebrities into the newest update of the Mac OS X Tiger operating system. The update will feature several modifications and upgrades, including a collection of famous voices [...]

ASPEN, CO – The untimely passing of Enron’s great and fearless leader, Ken Lay, has left many who are less than satisfied with his death. Democrats, poor people, hippies, and other bottom dwellers are still heartlessly baying for blood as the poor man’s family begins to mourn. Kenneth Lee Lay was born on April 15, [...]

The United States of America celebrated its final Independence Day on July 4, 2006. Americans lit their last fireworks and waved their last flags to commemorate the signing of an historic document. From 2007, this date will no longer be a public holiday, as America returns to the British Empire on November 1st of this [...]

STANFORD, CA – In a landmark study released, today, in the scientific journal Neuron, scientists announced the discovery of the gene responsible for Down’s syndrome. People with Down’s syndrome have three copies of chromosome 21, instead of the normal two – this is called “”trisomy 21″”. LushForLife.com‘s own hung-over, recovering addict Senior Staff Writer Danny [...]

Cancer: Your life sucks just enough to consider killing yourself. Wait until later, though, when you are married and with children, so you can screw them out of your life insurance policy at the same time.