Girl Invites Catcallers For Drink

TAMPA – In a press release held Monday held by the International Association Of Masculine Men, a startling announcement was made. According to members Jose’ Martinez and Martin Scott, a woman at whom they were yelling catcalls, such as, “”Hey, beautiful lady!”” and, “”Where you going, pretty momma? Show me a smile pretty pretty!”” where actually invited back to the lady’s house for a drink and some Trivial Pursuit, Millennium Edition. The young woman, reportedly, was not intoxicated and simply wanted some companionship for the evening. The two men, allegedly, drank two strawberry daiquiris prepared by their hostess, played the board game until completion, and then went home with a feeling of excitement they could not contain. Upon arriving home, Martin and Jose’ immediately called the IAOMM to report the groundbreaking news.

Speculation is abounding as to the reason for the duo’s success. In a recent paper published by Munich’s Institute of Advanced Machismo Studies, it was stated that the success rate for catcalls is exactly zero percent if one removes the 1987 incident when a construction worker yelled to a woman on the street, “”Baby, I want your children,”” and it turned out it was his wife. Dr. R. J. Von Henslop, of the Institute, postulated that it could be a freak accident: “”In 1972, we have an unconfirmed record of a young man being taken up on his offer of ‘rocking a woman’s world,’ but the youth was so taken aback by the acceptance that he panicked and ran down the street, screaming. What we may have here, if the report is confirmed, is the first real evidence to show that years of being obnoxious, beer slugging morons might eventually pay off.””

A committee of men’s men, comprised of Actors Russell Crowe and Colin Farrell, Golfer John Daly, and pseudo-celebrity Pat O’Brien, has been set up to investigate the claims made by the two groundbreakers. Depositions will begin next Thursday as O’Brien only gets out of rehab next Wednesday.

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