Genetic Cause Of Down’s Syndrome Discovered

STANFORD, CA – In a landmark study released, today, in the scientific journal Neuron, scientists announced the discovery of the gene responsible for Down’s syndrome.

People with Down’s syndrome have three copies of chromosome 21, instead of the normal two – this is called “”trisomy 21″”.

LushForLife.com‘s own hung-over, recovering addict Senior Staff Writer Danny Albertson flew in to California from Switzerland, where he was weekending at a detoxification spa in the Alps. There, he interviewed Lab Technician Shannon Crowly, who explained the process of deterioration that takes place in people with trisomy 21.

Crowly said, “”Many people with Down’s syndrome go on to develop dementia, similar to early-onset Alzheimer’s disease, by the age of 40.

“”In both Down’s syndrome and this form of Alzheimer’s, brain cells, or neurons, responsible for learning, memory, and attention, wither and die.””

He went on to discuss the next phase of their research saying, ‘Much like mental problems, such as Schizophrenia, this trisomy 21 can lay latent, not affecting the mind of the patient. Again, like Schizophrenia, the disease can be triggered by certain elements. In Schizophrenia’s case, ingesting heavy hallucinogens, such as LSD, can fire an otherwise latent cycle. In trisomy 21’s case, the triggers are much more common in modern American culture.

In closely controlled and monitored lab experiments, patients were exposed to a variety of stimuli. The patients, exposed to light beer, NASCAR, Major League Baseball, and McDonald’s French Fries, almost unilaterally developed a self-perpetuating catatonic state that closely resembled patients with Down’s syndrome. Everything, from their everyday habits to physical stature, begins to resemble the classic examples of people born with advanced Down’s syndrome. That is to say that they all look like retards. You know, like Corky from that show ‘Life Goes On’.’

LushForLife.com’s creator and CEO Duncan Idaho, who was taking a break from the high stress world of professional yacht racing and drug smuggling, happened to be in the UK watching the West Indian Cricket team play a five day test, interviewed Westham Institute of Technology’s Director of Neuroscience, Forman Whembly, who is conducting research on British subjects with similar genetic markers.

Whembly said, ‘Unfortunately, our research is not going as well. It seems that when subjects are exposed to football, cricket, Bass ale and BBC programming, the growth of trisomy 21 is retarded, rather than the subject himself.’

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