AIDS Linked To Vegetarianism

BERKLEY, CA – AIDS research scientists have made a new discovery in the origin of AIDS and the HIV virus. After extensive research, scientists have come to the conclusion that AIDS was put into animals by God to punish vegetarians for having mature, adult love for animals; and, of course, for being gay.

This is what one of the random scientists had to say:

“”Its no secret that all vegetarians are gay by default. This means that when a vegetarian makes the conscious decision to stop consuming meat, they are also making the conscious decision to have someone of the same sex stick their penis in their ass and/or stick their penis in the ass of someone else of the same sex. Lesbians don’t count, because lesbians are hot.

“”It gets much worse, however. After a few months of being a vegetarian, a vegetarian decides that they ‘love’ animals, and then someone says, ‘Well, if you love animals so much, why don’t you marry an animal?’ Naturally, the vegetarian has no other choice than to marry the animal that used to be their favorite meat. For instance, if their favorite meat was bacon, they marry a pig. In order to make the marriage legally binding, they must consummate the marriage. So, they fuck the pig or cow or whatever the fuck animal they marry. After a couple of years of fucking cows and pigs and chickens and shit, the vegetarian will become bored with the relationship and start fucking people again, on the side.

’When God found out about this, he got really pissed off and invented AIDS, and put it into every animal’s sexual fluids, so that he could kill ‘pig fucking fags’.

’In short, if you don’t want to get AIDS, don’t become a vegetarian, because if you do, you will start having gay sex and fucking farm animals and God will kill you with AIDS.’

Well, there you have it: finally, a legitimate reason for why AIDS exists and how we can prevent it.

Comments

comments

Tags: , , , ,

No comments yet.

Leave a Reply

“Men’s Health” Ranked Worst Magazine In The US

Tampa – With recent criticism for its nonsensical “Frown Town” article about the saddest cities in America, which placed St. […]

RIM To Release Crackberry Standard And Pro

crackberry

This week has seen some of the most exciting developments in recent memory for many mobile phone journalists and enthusiasts. […]

“Tase Me, Bro!” Says Sadomasochistic USF Student

TAMPA, FL − University of South Florida student Jay Myers, 22, was arrested and Tasered on Monday night by University […]

Danny’s Sports Box

No Bull… To the delight of thousands of USF fans, the South Florida Bulls football team, which has entered only […]

Patriots Receive White House Support

FOXBORO, MA – The New England Patriots, after recent sanctions levied against them for spying on the New York Jets […]