Limbaugh Viagra Scandal


PALM BEACH, FL – In yet another attempt to slander the good name of the world’s greatest radio talk show host, Rush Limbaugh, the liberal media has once again turned to made-up prescription drug scandals. The left-wing press has constantly harassed the moralistic speaker and the authorities now are buying into it. El-Rushbo was detained at Miami International Airport, Tuesday, when a bottle of Viagra was found in his luggage. Due to the minor semantic issue of the prescription not being in his name and The Great One‘s previous run-ins with the law over prescription drugs, the “mainstream media” games have begun. Some of us in the press, however, are standing behind our idol.

Barry Bonds, San Francisco Giants’ superstar, came out in defense of the downtrodden commentator: “Rush is a kind, sweet man.” Said the much loved baseball personality. “This kind of thing happens to everyone. Let he who has never had a stranger’s prescription bottle in his luggage cast the first stone… I don’t think you’ll find anyone pitching that lying rock!”

But the support for Rush has not just come from sports stars and other relevant commentators, but a also from a flood of well-wishers, including some of America’s most upstanding religious leaders, political figures, and TV personalities. Jimmy Swaggart, Bill O’Reilly, Jim Bakker, Jim Whittington, and LushForLife.com’s own Danny Albertson have issued press statements expressing their utmost confidence in Mr. Limbaugh and have wished him well.

Rush has downplayed the situation with his usual humor and tolerance. “Well, even if they were mine, it wouldn’t bother me,” said Mr. Limbaugh at a Miami press conference. Referring to his recent divorce, Limbaugh said, “I’m not married, and as a result I have no use for that type of medication, even if I did need it, which I don’t!”

The statement has prompted many in the left-biased press to question Limbaugh’s integrity, however, their grandstanding and jealous smear campaign will likely fall on deaf ears, as Rush’s record on marriage is unshakeable. He has defended marriage on the air more times that any other conservative host, and has gone on the record by saying: “Marriage is about raising children. That’s the purpose of the institution.” Being divorced three times and having no children (yet) shows just how seriously we can take him.

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Mr. Idaho is the Managing Director of Lush For Life. When he's not running the business and writing, he enjoys playing golf at St. Andrew's in Scotland, and supervising the development of his family's winery, "Dread God Vineyards", in South Africa. During the summer months, he resides on board his luxurious full-sized yacht off the coast of Hong Kong, snorting cocaine off the breasts of $10,000 female escorts while further developing his off-shore contacts with Japanese and Chinese businessmen.

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