I don’t have cable, thank God, but I still spend an exorbitant amount of time watching television. This is mainly due to an out of control drug problem, no friends, and a general hatred for the world outside. And what could better confirm that the planet is so deserving of your hard fought, blood pressure raising anger than a healthy dose of bunny-ear delivered, staticy daytime TV? In my recent channel-hopping, one disturbing recurring theme has been raising its ugly, over-made-up head all over my set top: The increasing amount of obviously drugged-up women hosts on TV shows of questionable quality – even by day-time broadcast standards. Let me give a few examples: Continue Reading

WASHINGTON – The current US health care crisis has deepened, with a new announcement that high-risk groups will need extra insurance (which might carry big deductibles) if they want coverage for avian flu. Continue Reading

MIAMI – A new study performed at the University of Miami has scientists flustered, leaving more questions about the intelligence quotient of dolphins than ever before. The crazed series of events took place in Leveringtonshire, a small suburb of the large Florida city. Continue Reading

ES: You mentioned Cronenberg. If you think about him, I mean, he almost got his start doing, practically, what would be considered “B” movies, what with Videodrome and… the other thing…

DI: That thing terrifies me.

DR: Rabid. With Marilyn Chambers. Continue Reading

MELVILLE, NY – A news leak out of Nikon Headquarters in Melville, New York, has revealed a new project the camera manufacturer, in conjunction with fellow photography industry leader Canon, Inc. has set into action to develop the world’s first completely steady, perfected tripod. Continue Reading

MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA – Web giant Google is apparently planning on taking over more than just the Internet. The plans of world domination were allegedly revealed accidentally after a blogger spotted notes in a slideshow presentation wrongly published on Google’s site. Continue Reading

Lawrence Summers has recently been in a dark place, but has emerged into the Light, with a new career as a model example of the 21^st Century USA Man of Faith.

Summer’s plunge into darkness began when he came up against people of a different faith. He learned that it doesn’t pay to mess with the religious left. Continue Reading

CAMBRIDGE, MA – One day after car bombs and Molotov Cocktails rocked the quiet university town of Cambridge, city leaders begin to clean up as a community remains divided. The violence at Harvard University came about as the result of tensions based on a dispute over an obscure passage from a piece of archaic fiction. Continue Reading

I got a call from my anonymous Hollywood insider on Monday night. He told me to get my shit together and be ready to interview a big Hollywood star first thing in the morning Tuesday. At least, that’s what I heard through my ears filtered by two midnight joints and enough Afghani smack to knock Keith Richards through a concrete wall. I called my colleague, the esteemed Duncan Idaho (speed dial: 5) to pull up his pants and knock his dick out of that Mexican hooker’s mouth and get to my place, fast, so we could prepare for our duty. Continue Reading

WASHINGTON – A recent investigative report conducted by LushForLife.com correspondents at CIA Headquarters in Washington, DC, has revealed plans the agency has put in motion to begin development on the most lethal chemical weapon the United States has ever produced, called PF. Continue Reading