Winter Olympics Discrimination

TORINO, ITALY – As the Winter Olympic games kick off, many bored civil rights activists have found something to complain about: the obvious lack of black biathlonists and other competitors of color who made the US Winter Olympic team. In fact, after searching the US Olympics Team website (, Jessie Jackson was only able to find one African-American competitor, Vonetta Flowers; admittedly, though, he didn’t look through the whole list.


Further controversy has arisen along with the recent blizzard that hit much of the Northeast on Sunday, as the more than 45cm (17 inches) kept many African-American families at home, uncomfortable and unable to even watch the Games on TV. What adds insult to icebox is the bitterly cold irony that the frosty Northern states have per capita the lowest number of African-Americans of anywhere in the country, so hip-hop hypothermia cannot be shared with like-minded African American arctic aversionists. Therefore, staying true to American tradition, a collection of concerned civil rights groups, guilt-ridden house wives, and out-of-work Hollywood busybodies have banded together, dubbing themselves the CCCRGGRHWOWHB, to take the issue to court.


The case of “CCCRGGRHWOWHB vs. Jack Frost” is set to start sometime in June when Mr. Frost will be gearing up for the Southern Hemisphere winter. A spokesperson for Mr. Frost said Monday, “Jack is personally hurt by many of these allegations. The idea that snow being white is a racial statement is completely ridiculous as is the entire supposition that cold weather in general is an active attack on African-Americans.”


In related news, Fubu Urban Streetwear, Inc. may be preparing for its initial public offering (IPO) with the news of their new winter line of stylish urban cold wear and street smart snow gear.



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Mr. Idaho is the Managing Director of Lush For Life. When he's not running the business and writing, he enjoys playing golf at St. Andrew's in Scotland, and supervising the development of his family's winery, "Dread God Vineyards", in South Africa. During the summer months, he resides on board his luxurious full-sized yacht off the coast of Hong Kong, snorting cocaine off the breasts of $10,000 female escorts while further developing his off-shore contacts with Japanese and Chinese businessmen.

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