Lush For Life

HOLLYQUEERWOOD – Hollywood has once again attempted to stab an AIDS-infected knife through the heart of middle-America, what with its promotion, glorification, and recognition of the most despicable type of human this side of a leper: GAYS!   As we roll into Awards Season to celebrate the best of the best in entertainment of 2005, [...]

IRVINE, CA – Results of the latest poll conducted by the Gallup Organization has revealed that the majority of people in the United States feel that most people believe that poll results are meaningful. Several polls were conducted amongst men and women in various age groups and races, designed to receive a broad, general consensus [...]

ATLANTA – As the dust settles on the Coretta Scott King six-hour-long funeral extravaganza, new and unsettling information is rising like a dysentery-infected phoenix… with a limp. The woman behind the fabled chicken-mayonnaise sandwiches that the late, great Dr. Martin Luther King so loved, finally prepared her last partly split round-roll containing a filling of [...]

DES MOINES – The ability of George W. Bush to appoint two supreme court justices has had an unforeseen impact on the private sector as factories are refitted to accommodate new products. In an unprecedented move, domestic product manufacturer Forworld Industrial Co., Ltd has stated in an official press release that it plans on producing [...]

TOKYO – Shocking photos were leaked today to LushForLife.com headquarters of giant, missile-armed Mech-Warriors, which appeared to be fully functional. The Japanese, who for years have been suspected of having a Mech-Warrior program, seem to have finally done it. North Korea, watch out.

DETROIT – After tuning into another season of twenty-two raw and dizzying weeks of highly-anticipated professional football, gnawing at our brains, the majority of us football fans – who on a weekly basis find ourselves stuffing our respective gullets with gallons of untamed and brutal whiskeys, porters, ales, and other distilled delicacies, along with massive [...]

Everyone has that one friend who can eat an entire bowl of chocolate ice cream without ever gaining a pound. Why is it that they never gain weight no matter what they eat while you sit back and watch every calorie you consume go straight to you hips, butt, thighs, and stomach? The answer is… [...]

ATLANTA – I settled myself in for a nice dose of an In Living Color marathon on Friday night on the fine Black Entertainment Television network. Boy, that James Carey is a swell comedian, and so’s that other white chick. Which is why, obviously, the entire cast was populated by people who looked like me [...]