New Poll Gives New Validity To Polls

IRVINE, CA – Results of the latest poll conducted by the Gallup Organization has revealed that the majority of people in the United States feel that most people believe that poll results are meaningful. Several polls were conducted amongst men and women in various age groups and races, designed to receive a broad, general consensus of the American people, and all revealed startling results.

“We were beginning to think all of our hard work was all for nothing,” Gallup CEO Jim Clifton said, “I thank God that’s not the case.”

Over twenty million Americans – ranging from poor, single black mothers, to white males between the ages of 25 and 40 who make more than $250,000 a year, to retired senior citizens – were asked, “Do Most Americans Think Poll Results Matter?” After combining all of the polling results, Clifton and other Gallup officials found that a startling 82% of all Americans believe their fellow citizens’ opinions are heavily swayed by the results of polls. Coincidentally, the next highest percentage of votes (11%) was tallied by people who, oddly enough, do not participate in polls.

“We were definitely floored by our latest numbers,” Clifton said. “Our hope is that all of our studies will be taken into account.”

Word out of Washington has been nothing but positive since the release of Gallup’s latest findings. Ken Mehlmen, chairman of the Republican National Committee, who previously worked as President Bush’s campaign manager, and is expected to be a powerful force in the upcoming 2008 Presidential Election, said to correspondent Arthur Rocks:

“These results found in the new Gallup poll just reaffirm what I’ve known for a long time. When people see such a majority of opinions leaning in a certain direction, the American tendency is to lean along with the masses. Luckily we live in a country where everyone’s opinions are formed by everyone else. It makes my job a lot easier.”

Mehlmen added as a footnote, “Its the blind leading the blind. Long live the polls!”



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