WASHINGTON – Reports out of Washington, DC, indicate that all users of the Motorola Razr cellular phone, the most popular and most widely used mobile phone in the United States, are subject to legal phone tapping implemented by President George W. Bush. Continue Reading

HEAVEN – The American Christian community was shocked, yesterday, at a press release issued from New Jerusalem. God’s spokesperson issued a statement coming out strongly against Intelligent Design. The release stated that The Lord Our God and his board of directors were finally sick and tired of being insulted by the idea that they would be so lazy as to just “magic up” a universe instead of doing it the old-fashioned way of carefully planning out creation and thriving on the faith of their handiwork. Senior Head of Marketing, Jesus Christ, earlier today stated that God, His Father, would refuse to appear before a House Senate committee to debate as to whether or not to allow nut job, farm-state, redneck school teachers to teach intelligent design in already dumbed-down schools across the nation. Continue Reading

Aries: Your life is gay this month.

Taurus: On January 29th, at exactly 10:42 PM, the police will knock on your door. When you open the door, they will begin to ask you questions regarding a murder in the neighborhood. You won’t be able to answer any of their questions, and they will leave, only to return the next day with a search warrant. Hide your LSD. Continue Reading