Ask Brett! Volume 2

In a monthly periodical, you, the readers of LushForLife.com, can submit questions to Danny Albertson, and he will forward a handful of them to Brett Favre in their monthly sit down Q&A.

Danny Albertson: It’s been awhile since we’ve had a chance to sit down and rap, Brett. The questions have been piling up in my email since the last time we spoke, so we’ve got a lot to cover.

Brett Favre: I’ve been real busy man. I hate the fact I haven’t been able to get over here lately, but between my family and quarterbacking, my slate stays pretty full.

DA: I know you’d like to be here with me. Lets get to it, shall we?

BF: Okay. Blue forty-two, hike!

DA: Haha! Our first letter comes from Leslie in Montgomery, Alabama:

Dear Brett,

I’ve noticed how you are able to overcome everything that life can possibly throw at you. The other day, a group of friends of mine came across a nigger walking down a rural road in the outskirts of Montgomery. They grabbed him, hogtied him, threw him in a sack and brought him over to my house. He is tied up in my basement right now, and my friends have given me first dibs on anal sex. What should I do?

BF: Well, I grew up in Kiln, Mississippi, and if I said I’ve never come across this exact situation in my life, then I’d be a liar. Let me just say, do what you think is right. What is just, to me, has always been determined by whatever zip code I was in. In ‘Bama, I’d say you gotta hog him out, and then lynch him. Do what’s right, Leslie.

DA: Usually my editors won’t let such an edgy question through. I want to apologize on behalf of LushForLife.com to everyone out there who may be offended by that question, or Mr. Favre’s response. Our next question comes from Harold in Newark, New Jersey:

Brett,

My mother is upset that I haven’t been going to school lately. I’ve been ditching class to go practice my quarterback mechanics so that one day I can be like you. I tell my mom it’s you’re fault I don’t go to school. What do you think?

BF: First off, you need to respect and love your mother. Give her all the affection and caressing and kisses she needs. A boy who’s afraid to give love to his mother is no boy at all. Also, a lot of kids out there want to be me; not just you. The bottom line is no one can ever become all that is me. I am the Immaculate Favre, and I can cure all ills, except if you are a family member of mine, because then I have to let you die so I can get another headline.

DA: Well, Brett, I think that Rob Johnson could give you a run for your money any day of the week.

BF: You think what you want; I know I’m a God.

DA: We’ll end our monthly periodical here, because this bastard is starting to get on my last nerve. We’ll see you all in our next installment.

BF: If you want to submit a question for me to answer, email Danny at LushForLife.com, and I’ll do my best to get to all of them. See you next time!

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