Being the wealthy business investor that I am, I’m always looking for the next big trend in American culture. Well, the other night I was at a party, and this fellow handed me a drink. As soon as I put the cup to my lips, I knew this was no ordinary drink. It had a peculiar smell and taste to it; one I was not familiar with. Continue Reading

JERUSALEM – In the growing controversy over violence in video games, the likes of Hillary Clinton, Joe Lieberman, and Charles Schumer have been joined by a powerful ally: The Israeli government. Palestinian rocket attacks and suicide bombers have led the Jerusalem based outfit to start hitting back against what they feel may be the real reason for the unrest in the Middle East.  Continue Reading

MIAMI – More bizarre than “World’s Best Father”, Jose Cortez, of Miami, has decided to try and set the world record in number of rapes, making him the World’s Best Rapist. Continue Reading

NEW YORK, NY – A recent investigation conducted by LushForLife.com investigators at the National Football League’s headquarters in New York City has revealed startling facts regarding the alleged suicide of Indianapolis Colts head coach Tony Dungy’s son. Continue Reading

WASHINGTON – As if there weren’t enough made-up holidays around the X-Mas season, yet another nondenominational excuse for a day off work has reared its ugly head. Continue Reading

TAMPA, FL – LushForLife.com intercepted a letter to Penthouse Magazine written by none other than Kris Kringle himself. The letter was sent via the US Postal service, and had the return address: “North Pole.” Continue Reading

NORTH POLE – A sex tape involving Santa Claus’ wife, Martha Kringle, and several of his elves has surfaced at a local Blockbuster Video at the North Pole. Clerks discovered it inside of a “Lord of the Rings” cassette box when it was returned to the store. Continue Reading

WASHINGTON – Top Republican sorcerers are to gather tonight at midnight beneath the Capitol Rotunda in a rare full Solemn Conclave meeting to attempt to resurrect deceased former President Ronald Reagan, according to multiple highly-placed sources close to the Republican National Committee. The Solemn Conclave would be the Republicans’ first since 1991, when they are rumored to have met at the Lincoln Memorial to unleash unidentified eldritch, long-sleeping forces into the skies, leading to the dissolution of the Soviet Union. Continue Reading

As the debate as to what to call that capitalistic orgy that is the “season of giving” rages on, many seem to have overlooked the real meaning behind the celebration of the “holidays” or “Christmas” or whatever the hell those politically correct morons without enough hobbies want it named. Who cares? What at least should be set straight is how to go about celebrating this time of stretched credit. I am what some call a traditionalist, others have called me stickler, and even more have referred to me as an obnoxious asshole. As a result, I would like to see a push to have the old traditions on which the most expensive holiday is based brought back. Continue Reading

In a monthly periodical, you, the readers of LushForLife.com, can submit questions to Danny Albertson, and he will forward a handful of them to Brett Favre in their monthly sit down Q&A. Continue Reading