Sep 27th, 2005
BARCELONA, SPAIN – In a landmark discovery, this week, scientists at the University of Barcelona have come to realize that the original measurement for the millimeter (mm) was calculated incorrectly when it was originally developed a long, long time ago. The ramifications of this, of course, are huge, as now every measurement, calculation and prediction [...]
HOUSTON – It is believed by many baseball insiders that the real motive behind Roger Clemens taking the mound on the very day that his mother passed away is actually because he is currently engaged in a personal battle with Green Bay Packers Quarterback Brett Favre.
Sep 22nd, 2005
Amanda from Texas wrote:
Dear Emma,
I think my boyfriend is cheating on me. How can I find out if he is?
Dear Amanda,
The answer to this is quite simple… SLEEP WITH ALL OF HIS FRIENDS! This is a sure fire way to find out if he is cheating on you. As soon as [...]
In a monthly periodical, you, the readers of LushForLife.com, can submit questions to Danny Albertson, and he will forward a handful of them to Brett Favre in their monthly sit down Q&A.
Danny Albertson: Brett, I can’t explain to you how honored I am to be able to spend this time with you. Ever [...]
NEW ORLEANS – Proving that the differences between the various segments of humanity are not really so significant in the wake of great tragedy, extremist religious nut jobs from across the entire spectrum of fairytale-based beliefs put aside their many differences to praise God’s decision to eradicate New Orleans. Extremist leaders of Christians, Muslims, and [...]
There is a type of woman that I am seeing more and more of these days: an unfortunate slag of a girl who is essentially a cock-tease; a walking rape just waiting to happen. These are the ones that start those stupid games like “So… like, where is the craziest place you’ve ever done it?” [...]
Sep 7th, 2005
NASHVILLE – Televangelist and religious figure-head Jim Bakker has applied for the God job opening in Heaven, which has remained vacant since God’s assassination while visiting Dubuque, Iowa on business last month. Bakker submitted the job application through his friend, Jesus, in the form of a prayer, and also via email to Heaven’s website (www.heaven.org), [...]
WASHINGTON – A daily wire report submitted to LushForLife.com by The Washington Post has reported that a pile of a dozen or so severed penises, presumably once belonging to young boys, judging by their size, were found resting within a heavy duty garbage bag on the front steps of the White House yesterday morning. As [...]
PITTSBURGH – Scientists at the University of Pittsburgh made a ground breaking discovery last week. After extensive research, they came to the conclusion that seven out of ten (urban) new born children are being born with lungs almost incapable of breathing oxygen. A new mutant race of children called Ashtrayan Americans is surviving on a [...]
LOS ANGELES – Talk radio personality Phil Hendrie, host of The Phil Hendrie Show, a comedy program which broadcasts on talk radio affiliates across the country, allegedly does not air “fake guests”: the voices heard on his program are actually the voices of real people proposing ridiculous and outlandish opinions, sources said.