Intel-IBM-Apple Gay Love Triangle

SILICON VALLEY, CA – Was the decision for Apple to move from IBM to Intel chips purely a business move? New photos leaked exclusively to LushForLife.com may prove foul play. The graphic images show Apple (and more recently, Ikea) CEO Steven Jobs, in numerous compromising positions with another man. “The (unidentified) man is actually an Intel employee”, said a source close to the story, “and he was paid by Intel to infiltrate…Jobs.”

With IBM PowerPC chips being gobbled up for the next generation of gaming systems, many have speculated that Apple’s departure from Big Blue’s client A-list won’t sting too badly. However, there has been rumor amongst the IT community that the real sting will come from the breakup of the affair between the two men leading the giants. Jobs and IBM CEO Sam Palmisano have been rumored to have been seeing each other romantically for around nine months, the average life expectancy of a homosexual relationship (source: RushLimbaugh.com), and recently broke off the sinful tussle after Palmisano, 58, found five black and white eight-by-ten photographs of Jobs and the as yet unidentified man in a FedEx package from Richmond, VA.

“The whole thing is just a sad mess,” said LushForLife.com’s source. “This all could have been avoided if Intel wasn’t such a group of money-grubbing whores and corporate sleazebags. I feel that this all started when Bill (Gates, CFO, Microsoft Systems) dumped Craig (Barrett, CEO, Intel International) for a junior systems developer that was half his age, for Christ’s sake. Craig was really messed up for a while over that, and I think it changed him.”

One thing that is for sure, however, is that the gay relationship factor has not yet been fully explored in the complex world of the software and chip design industries on which so much of our economy is based upon, and this reporter, for one, feels that it’s about time that the Department of Commerce started an investigation into these clearly personal motivations behind major business decisions.

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Mr. Idaho is the Managing Director of Lush For Life. When he's not running the business and writing, he enjoys playing golf at St. Andrew's in Scotland, and supervising the development of his family's winery, "Dread God Vineyards", in South Africa. During the summer months, he resides on board his luxurious full-sized yacht off the coast of Hong Kong, snorting cocaine off the breasts of $10,000 female escorts while further developing his off-shore contacts with Japanese and Chinese businessmen.

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