Heart Failure Linked to Deaths of Billions

NEW YORK, NY – A new study released by New York University suggests that heart failure is now the leading cause of death in the world. Graduate students at NYU conducted a survey amongst subjects suffering from multiple fatal diseases and disorders, including various forms of cancer, AIDS, and emphysema, and concluded that in one-hundred percent of the cases, heart failure was the ultimate cause of death.

George Norwell, professor of Pathology at NYU, said, “In all cases we observed, the subjects all suffered from the same cause of death. Considering that all subjects suffered from a variety of different ailments, the results we found were rather astounding.”

To further add substance to the claim, Dr. Leonard Thompson, professor of History at Tuskegee University, said in a related report, “All of the work that Dr. Norwell and his team of doctors have conducted at NYU is correct. In fact, it is believed by the majority of historians that heart failure has been the most common cause of death in America and the rest of the world during the last century. No official numbers have been gathered, but we believe heart failure has claimed the lives of billions upon billions of people throughout time.”

With heart failure becoming such an epidemic, Robert Forester of the Surgeon General’s Office told LushForLife.com the plan his organization will take to fight the growing death rates:

“We have yet to formulate a strategy to attack this growing issue. We’ve spent billions of taxpayer dollars in attempts to come up with a possible cure, but it appears that there is no end in sight for this plague that is clinching its stronghold around the lives of humanity. All we can do is hope.”

Since every person to ever be alive in the history of the world has suffered from this complex, there is very little hope that we will ever come up with a cure to remedy this problem. We at LushForLife.com reach out to you, and would like to extend a message of hope and courage to all of those to fall subject to heart failure, and all of the family members who’ve had to cope with this unavoidable disease. Our prayers will be with you all.

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