God’s Little Slice Of Heaven In America


MIANUS, RI – Mianus is a small town in Rhode Island that most people have never been to or even heard of. Today, I have decided to embark on a journey to this unique and magical place to find out what really goes on in Mianus.

Mianus is full of rich and colorful characters. All walks of life come to Mianus. Some come to get away, while others come hoping to fulfill their wildest dreams. The truth of the matter is, though, it doesn’t matter what you’re doing in Mianus. If you’re in Mianus, you’re bound to have a good time.

Even though Mianus is a dark place with a moist climate, the early bird still catches the worm. It’s true: every morning, farmers, businessmen, teachers, doctors, police officers, fire fighters, priests, store clerks, and everyone else in this community, are up at the crack of dawn working hard to make Mianus a wonderful place. This particular morning, I had the pleasure of sitting down with two of the most important people in Mianus, Dr. Dick Johnson and Officer Harry Hopkins, to ask them a few questions.

James: Doctor, is it true that Mianus is full of diseases?

Dr. Johnson: Well, that is true, but my staff of experts has made some really wonderful progress on eliminating most of the diseases here in Mianus.

James: Officer Hopkins, could you tell me: is it true that Mianus is a breeding ground for assholes?

Officer Hopkins: Pardon my French, but, yes, there are a lot of dicks in Mianus. Not to worry, though. Mianus puts a tight squeeze on these people, and we make sure they don’t ruin Mianus for everyone else.

James: Thank you for your help, gentlemen.

I also decided to explore the nightlife in Mianus, and found out some very interesting things. There are several gays in Mianus. As a matter of fact, gays love Mianus. However, straight people love Mianus just as much. There is plenty of fun to be had in Mianus for all. I talked to a few locals here on the strip in Mianus to hear what they had to say.

Mianus resident Jack Hornsby said, ” Well, I think it’s beautiful. I love it!” Mianus resident Tom Blister exclaimed, “Well, I’ve found so many things. I found a wonderful home, a beautiful wife, and I’ve even had two children in Mianus.” Mianus resident Susan Schultz had less a positive opinion when she confessed: “I think Mianus is a shitty place, and someone needs to clean it up. Someone really needs to wipe out all the shit in Mianus.”

As you can see, there are a variety of different opinions on Mianus. I decided to make one last stop in Mianus before I left. I went to the towns “lost and found” to see what some of the tourists who have been through Mianus left behind. I found a variety of strange (and not-so-strange) objects that have been lost in Mianus. One person lost their gold watch in Mianus. Another person lost a pair of underwear in Mianus. I don’t know how that may have happened. Someone even lost his toothbrush in Mianus. These are all just material possessions that can be easily replaced, though. On the other hand, the most shocking things that have been left in Mianus aren’t even things at all, they are, or should I say, were, people’s pets. Yes, you heard me. Several pets have been lost and left behind in Mianus. Everything from dogs to gerbils has been left in Mianus. One visitor passing through Mianus even left behind an exotic snake. I couldn’t figure out why so many people thought Mianus was the perfect place to leave their unwanted pets, but perhaps that is another story.

All in all, Mianus just might be a wonderful place to live but, for me, Mianus is only somewhere I like to visit.

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