Gloff Hits Rock Bottom

TAMPA, FL – International superstar Jeremy Gloff entered the Betty Ford Clinic on Monday, August 29th, 2005, for an addiction to caffeine. Gloff started his career in Tampa, FL, in the summer of 1993. After three months of playing the local open-mic circuit at various coffee shops, Gloff was offered a $1.5 million contract from Geffen Records, which he accepted. He soon began work on his first studio album entitled True Stories. When True Stories was finished, Geffen began scheduling a six-month American/European tour consisting of theatre halls and arenas. However, Gloff refused to play theatres and arenas. Gloff insisted that he only play coffee shops. After several weeks of debating, Geffen finally agreed.

Gloff never gave a reason for his demand to only perform at coffee shops. At the time, those who were close to Jeremy assumed it was only because he was trying to maintain “street cred.” When David Geffen (CEO of Geffen Records) was question by Spin Magazine in 1993, he stated: “I can only assume that Jeremy Gloff insists on exclusively playing coffee shops because like every musician since the dawn of time, he is an eccentric megalomaniac.” Sadly, Jeremy’s close friends, as well as David Geffen, were mistaken.

Gloff’s penchant for coffee shops had nothing to do with “street cred” or eccentricities, but everything to do with coffee. Gloff was a closet caffeine addict. His addiction for caffeine was parallel to that of a heroin addict. Stan Furlong, owner of the Perk Up coffee shop in Toronto, recalled: “One night after a gig, I saw Jeremy chug over a gallon of espresso. It was the craziest thing I ever saw. We all just thought it was a gag. We didn’t know he had a problem.” Unfortunately, Jeremy did have a problem: a big problem.

Gloff continued to go on for over a decade recording albums and touring across the globe. No one was aware of his horrible addiction. That is until one night after a performance in his hometown of Tampa, FL, at the Sacred Grounds coffee shop; Gloff snorted one thousand grams of pure Columbian coffee grounds, and collapsed from cardiac arrest in the parking lot. One week later, after being released from Tampa General Hospital, Gloff held a press conference announcing that he was going to put the production of his new album on hiatus to check himself into the Betty Ford Clinic for rehabilitation. As of now, Jeremy Gloff is still a patient at the Betty Ford Clinic. Gloff’s manager held another press conference last week to announce that the new album is still pending, and that the status of the album’s debut is still “to be announced.

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