Brobonics: A New Language


NEW HAVEN – A new pidgin-language, “Brobonics”, has just become an official language as of today, when Yale announced that they would now be offering a Brobonics course. Surprisingly, many scholars (including many of Yale’s very own English professors) are outraged by this decision, saying that Brobonics is a desecration of the English language. However, linguists all across the nation are saying that they beg to differ. Linguistics major, Professor Steven B. Leroy will be teaching the course. I sat down with Professor Leroy this morning to get an inside look at what many are calling, “a new and exciting language!”

James: Good morning.

Professor Leroy: Hello and good morning.

James: Professor, could you explain to me what Brobonics is and where it originated?

Professor Leroy: Certainly. Brobonics is a variation of modern English. Much like Ebonics, which started as slang, or pidgin language, amongst young African-Americans in our urban cities and neighborhoods across the US, Brobonics has been used as a form of slang amongst young Caucasians, predominately those belonging to a fraternity or sorority, for almost a decade throughout our suburban communities.

James: I see. Would you mind telling me how you would defend the accusations that Brobonics is degrading the English language?

Professor Leroy: Well, I feel that Brobonics is in no way a desecration of the English language. In fact, I would say that it is merely an expansion of the English language. Since the beginning of time, all languages have built off one another. Saying that Brobonics is a desecration of the English language, is like saying that English is a desecration of Latin. I really do not see the difference.

James: Professor, since you are, of course, fluent in the language, could you give me an example of Brobonics?

Professor: Certainly. As a matter of fact, I have prepared a list of Brobonic words, along with definitions for each of the words.

bananas – adj. 1. a situation or person that is bizarre and unusual. 2. a person that is mentally insane. “This shit is bananas.” synonyms – banana sandwich, banana smoothie, bananarama, banana sauce, banana republic, banana egg roll, banana chips.

bang-out – verb. to have sexual intercourse. “I’m going to bang-out my girlfriend.” past tense banged-out. “I heard she banged-out everyone.”

bong water – adj. 1. something that is considered bad or unpleasant. 2. something that is of poor quality.

“This job is bong water as fuck.” brodeo – noun. 1. a group of dude-bros. 2. a gathering. “Is everyone going to be at the brodeo?”

chopsticks – adj. see bananas.

DOS-titties – noun. 1. an old girlfriend, ex-girlfriend. 2. an unattractive female. “Damn, son, I just got off the phone with DOS-titties.”

dude-bro – noun. a young male, particularly belonging to a fraternity. “Dude-bro, are you up for a late night grindage session?”

grindage – noun. food, nourishment. “I need some grindage, dude.”

jam – adj. 1. something that is considered to be good. 2. something that an individual likes very much. “Dude-bro, Taco Bell is my jam.” synonyms – jam sandwich, jam session.

olive-oyl – adj. 1. an unattractive female, particularly one that is thin. 2. a female resembling Olive Oyl, the animated character from Popeye. “That bitch is looking olive-oyl as fuck.”

poop soup – adj. something that is disliked or undesirable. “This song sounds like a bowl of poop soup.” synonyms – poop sandwich, poo poo platter, diarrhea milkshake.

titties 2.0 – noun. 1. an attractive female. 2. a dude-bro’s new mate. “Shit, I need to get me some titties 2.0.”

James: Thank you Professor. That was very helpful.

Professor Leroy: You’re welcome.

Brobonics: is it nothing more than college slang, or is it ready to become the next college course? I’ll leave that answer up to you, the reader. As for me, I’m going to get a new dictionary!

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One Response to “Brobonics: A New Language” Subscribe

  1. nightin_gayle December 19, 2006 at 2:46 am #

    DAT SHIT IS WHACK, BIOTCH.

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