Tampa – With recent criticism for its nonsensical “Frown Town” article about the saddest cities in America, which placed St. Petersburg Florida as the most depressing place to live and ...
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“Tase Me, Bro!” Says Sadomasochistic USF Student
TAMPA, FL − University of South Florida student Jay Myers, 22, was arrested and Tasered on Monday night by University Police during a question and answer session with Jack Hanna at the Sun Dome. Myers, a senior majoring in anthropology, insinuated that the host of the popular TV show Jack Hanna’s Animal Adventures continued his [...]
Danny’s Sports Box
No Bull… To the delight of thousands of USF fans, the South Florida Bulls football team, which has entered only its 11th season, has found itself ranked #18 in both the Associated Press Top 25 poll and the USA Today Coach’s Poll, the highest ranking the school has enjoyed in its young history… and just [...]
Patriots Receive White House Support
FOXBORO, MA – The New England Patriots, after recent sanctions levied against them for spying on the New York Jets play callers during the first week of the NFL season by NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell, have received attention from not only the panorama of the NFL, but also the George W. Bush White House. After [...]
Nancy Drew: Terrorist Spy
WASHINGTON – US Press Secretary Dana Perino arrived at the podium, the air heavy with tension, when she broke the news that heralded super-sleuth Nancy Drew had been captured and now detained by the CIA at the infamous Guantanamo Bay terrorist repository in Cuba. Perino, sullenly, addressed the awaiting press: “Good morning, everybody… I have [...]
L4L Mitt Romney Sit Down Interview
Lush for Life’s newest intrepid reporter, Marriot A. Lamb, has been aware that Hillary Clinton has been getting more than her fair share of attention with regards to her proposed changes to the Health Care system. He called Mitt Romney (who is at least a Presidential candidate with a full complement of decision-making organs) to [...]
Dear America, We Still Like You – Love Europe
I feel for you my American cousins; I really do. If this is your chosen reading material, then you may well have heard of far off places outside the Bay Area, like Scotland, Albania, or Tunisia, you may even be able to find such places on a map. You might be capable of conceiving that [...]
Potter-esque Crack for Bald Brokers
Alan Greenspan’s much-anticipated memoirs, entitled “The Age of Turbulence”, hit bookshelves last week. The fanfare surrounding the novel was amazing, with people in some areas of the country queuing for hours in much the same way they would for a new Harry Potter novel. Outside of the Wall Street Barnes & Noble, approximately 400 middle-aged, [...]
Favre Sets Aim Towards Marino
GREEN BAY, WI – In the wake of the Green Bay Packers come-from-behind victory over the San Diego Chargers at Lambeau Field on Sunday, Packers quarterback Brett Favre offered his usual parting words during a post game press conference. “I am the greatest,” Favre said smugly, “and it is finally almost official.”
Fashion to Fund Terror
As more and more celebrities are discovering the cash cow that is the fashion industry, one has to ask the question: just because you wear clothes, should you be designing them? Celebs like Jessica Simpson are finding out that you don’t need to be a talented actress or singer to still make money; a line [...]
Chinese Army Hacks Vice President
WASHINGTON – The vulnerabilities of the United States Government’s computer assets were thrown into the spotlight this week as concerns in and around the beltway began to grow with the surprising announcement that the Chinese People’s Liberation Army, or PLA, had hacked into a network affiliated with the office of Secretary of Defense Robert Gates [...]
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Entire Republican Party Stricken with Cancer
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NFL Suicide Conspiracy Uncovered
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